Wonkette Hates Us . . . And The World

wonkette

The hipster punk curmudgeons at Wonkette don’t like it when you speak ill of their queen bee, Hillary C.

After a shallow read of our article regarding the conspiracy theories surrounding Antonin Scalia’s death, a snarky blogger from the lefty site went to town:

Y’all, we were getting worried. Antonin Scalia’s pillow murdered him to death on Saturday, and conspiracy theories have been raging ever since about how Barack Obama probably was the master of that pillow, killing Scalia in his sleep to open up a vacancy for Jeremiah Wright and Saul Alinsky and his real dad the Muslim Devil to sit on the court. THE USUAL STUFF.

But nobody had blamed Hillary Clinton. Until now. Write a whole bunch of stupid, Morgan Mayhew of Liberty News Now.

The angry-looking senior editor of Wonkette continued:

Whew! All is well with the world. We mean, for real, Hillary Clinton might be our next president. This is the woman who, according to insane wingnuts, murdered Vince Foster and made it look like a suicide; is at least half responsible for the Clinton Body Count; and who did FOUR DEAD AMERICANS in Benghazi by sending emails to Huma Abedin about where they’re brunching this Sunday after their usual bout of making lesbian while watching “Meet The Press.” How in the HELL did it take this long for somebody to accuse Hillary Clinton of murdering Scalia?

While it may be hard to follow the ramblings of a male editor running a liberal chick’s site, at least he’s in tune with the long-standing rumors floating around the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

As for the rest of the material produced by this guy . . . well . . . he’s the reason why there’s an intellectual difference between blogging and journalism.

Here are just a few of his headlines:

Tennessee Sheriff So Mad Beyonce Shot Up His House

Oregon Militia Twit Sues America for Being Literally Satan

Lawless Nevada Thug Cliven Bundy Gets to Stay in Jail Forever, Hooray!

Thankfully, readers won’t have to encounter these bloggers in the wild as they rarely leave their grandmother’s basement, and when they do, they skulk in the shadows out of the fear someone will recognize that they haven’t shown the self-respect to change out of their dingy pajamas for the last 14 weeks.

Morgan is a freelance writer for a variety of publications covering popular culture, societal behavior and the political influences of each.