Study Shows Tight Pants Contributing To Infertility In Men

Infertility In Men

In a UK scientific study about infertility, one of the major contributing factors for men is tight pants and underwear.

The men who wear no underwear or loose fitting boxers have a much higher and healthier sperm count than men who wear tight pants and restrictive underwear.

To break it down, men who go commando can make a baby a lot easier than a man wearing skinny jeans and tighty-whities.

To be honest, this is good news. It makes it easier to look at those hipster skinny- jean-wearing millennials. This study reminds us that they are going to have a really hard time procreating. By judging how tight they wear their pants, they might not be able to have children at all.

The study also showed that men who wait to have children after the age of 40 increase the likelihood of that child having an illness like schizophrenia or autism.

In the report, it said that the health of a man’s sperm decreases with age. So the sperm is healthier when the man is young and in his 20’s but really starts to add risks to the pregnancy when the man gets close to 40 years old.

Hey women: don’t marry an old scuba diver, track runner or Blue Man Group member if you want to have children.

Hey Men: if you want to make sure that you have healthy sperm when you are 40 then you could freeze your sperm. That is an option.

The best thing to do is just go no pants. If you are trying to get pregnant tell your boss that by not wearing any pants, you have a better chance of impregnating your wife.

Make sure you work for some super liberal company like Target.

So to wrap it all up, millennials can’t have kids, and if you want to get your wife pregnant, get a job at Target and don’t wear pants. Aren’t those British scientists helpful?!

Did you get a woman pregnant despite wearing tight pants? Let us know in the comments below.

Candice has almost 20 years of experience reporting for various conservative publications. When she's not writing, she enjoys being outdoors--especially camping, hiking, and hunting. She lives in Harrisburg, PA, with her husband.