Captain America Declares War On Conservatives

According to reports, the newest Captain America comic book series from Marvel Comics has the patriotic superhero no longer representing the entirety of America–because, much like Hillary Clinton in last week’s Democratic debate, he just declared that conservatives are his newest enemies.

According to The MacIver Institute, a think tank in Wisconsin, who first broke the story:

“The new villains in this comic are conservatives who are portrayed as a right-wing terrorist group called ‘The Sons of the Serpent.’ They stopped a group of immigrants trying to cross the border who they accuse of invading a sovereign land to spread disease and crime, take American jobs and collect welfare.”

“Then Captain America comes and beats them up. Those in the country who disagree with Captain America’s new partisan agenda accuse him of being anti-American, against the Constitution… they even call him ‘Captain Socialism.’ He says all he wanted to do was bring folks together.”

Captain America was first introduced in 1940, right before the United States’s entry into World War II. That was intentional: he was intended by creators as a moral counterbalance to the horrors of Nazi Germany, even though America hadn’t yet joined the war effort.

Nowadays, Captain America could still be standing up for American values overseas. Between an increasingly-aggressive China, a nuclear North Korea and Iran, a belligerent Russia, and a bloodthirsty ISIS, there’s no shortage of foreign enemies that could use some old-fashioned American superhero morality.

Instead, Captain America has tragically thrown in his lot with liberals–who see no bigger enemy on the horizon than conservatives.

Adam Campbell is a former military brat, who grew up all over the world--but considers Milwaukee, WI, where he and his wife currently live, to be his home. He enjoys reporting the real news, without bias.